Our Summer & Beyond
by iceicebrittana
Summary: The things you do during summer can be a microcosm of all the joys and pains of an entire lifetime. Two girls meet on a beach by the ocean. Nothing will ever be the same again.
1. Our Summer

_**I claim no ownership of any elements legally owned by others. I received no financial compensation from this, therefore it is classified as fair use. Resemblance to other properties published in TV, Film, or Literature (other than those related to Glee) are not intended.**_

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Santana Lopez had just turned 22 in January. After four years of going to college non-stop, she had the entire summer off, and she was happy to be free. Her uncle had offered her the use of his beach house. He basically just wanted Santana to take care of it, since he wouldn't be using it, and he had forgotten to look for a paying tenant to rent it. Santana really lucked out since it was a charming home she had spent some time in as a child. It was full of good memories. Her cousins and her would spend summers there together, but when they all moved away, that all changed.

Santana had broken up with her girlfriend two weeks before she graduated. As with many couples, they had grown apart. They were probably only together because they had gotten too used to being together. It wasn't exactly a heartbreaking split, but she missed the companionship. In Santana's opinion, they made better friends than lovers anyway.

With all that on her mind, Santana set out to find a summer fling for some amazing rebound sex. It actually didn't have to be that amazing. Any kind of sex would do as long as it was with a woman. Santana liked to brag to her friends that she was, "dick-free since high school and proud of it!"

However, for the first few days Santana just wanted to be left alone. The beach was quiet and she liked how calming it was. She would stare out at the beach everyday while lying out on the terrace. In those first few days, she hadn't seen much of the neighbors. Most of the houses served the same purpose: owned by someone who only occasionally used it but made a shit-ton of money from renting them out.

After coming back from a grocery trip, Santana discovered a gorgeous looking blonde beauty knocking on the door of one of her neighbor's. She knew no one was home; in fact, no one had been there since she had moved in. Santana instantly thought that this girl was definitely summer fling material, but unfortunately her gaydar was telling her that she was straight.

"I don't think anyone lives there yet." The woman turned at Santana's words. Santana saw a smile come to her lips, but just as quickly disappear. Santana made a mental note of it.

"Oh, thanks. It's my sister's place. She was supposed to be here by now."

Santana returned to her task of unpacking the groceries from her car. The woman had turned to watch her. "If you'd like, you could come inside and wait with me. All this is fresh and organic, plus I have alcohol," Santana said, never taking her eyes off the car. She briefly considered how unusual it was inviting a total stranger over to her cozy beach house after only 1 interaction, but she was hot so…

The blonde was apparently thinking the same and said, "How do you know I'm not a psycho killer about to plunder this place of its valuables?" A smile grew on Santana's face. Santana did lesbian fight club on the weekends to get rid of the stress from college. Even if this girl was a psycho killer, Santana thought she could probably take her.

"Most killers and burglars don't operate in flip-flops and short-shorts." Santana joked.

The girl laughed at Santana's observation. "You're probably right. Do you need help?" She walked over.

She was a little taller than Santana, but no more than 3 inches. Her hair stretched to her mid back in loose blonde curls. She had legs that would put others to shame. Her stomach was flat, and peeking out from her small shirt that barely covered her chest Santana spotted some killer abs. All that went threw Santana's brain at that moment was, "YUM."

However, she restrained herself enough to say, "Thank you. Can you grab the food from the front? Please?"

"Planning a party?"

"No why?" They talked while walking towards the house.

"There's a lot of food here for just you." Santana always bought too much food because she had a tendency to be indecisive.

They went up the stairs together and placed the food on the table.

"I got extra just in case a psycho killer showed up next door. I'm Santana by the way." She put her hand out. Her guest took it with a firm grip. Santana's brain filled with more dirty images, such as, "_Wow those fingers would be nice…_"

Now that she was standing closer, Santana noticed just how blue her eyes were. "I'm Brittany."

Santana wasn't sure how to talk to this girl Brittany. Her normal tactics worked well with gays girls in bars, but this was literally the girl next door. She needed to be cautious.

"Is this place yours, Santana?"

"No, it's actually my uncle's. You said the house next door was your sister's?" Santana tried carefully to steer the conversation away from herself.

"Yeah she's supposed to come drop off the key. My sister's husband's family just bought it for them as a wedding present. They're off on their honeymoon and can't use it yet. So they asked me to be here for the summer and get things ready for them." She smelled so good, even in the midst of the ocean breeze Santana could smell only her.

"Well I guess we will be summer neighbors then."

Dinner was relatively quiet because Santana couldn't stop staring at the beautiful view in front of her, and the beach was beautiful too. Just as they were finishing their food, Santana offered Brittany some dessert but Brittany's phone started to ring.

"Hello? Yeah I'm next door. Oh okay I'll be right there." She hung up. "My sister is here, if you want, I'll come right back to help you clean up."

"Don't worry about it's fine. I'll see you around, Brittany." Santana needed to get some distance between them. She was enamored with this girl and it was making it hard for her to think clearly. She hadn't had sex in weeks; her and her ex hadn't even done anything remotely sexual for about two months before it ended. Brittany seemed actually sad at this refusal.

"Ok, then bye, I guess. Maybe I'll pay for dinner next time?" She walked away leaving Santana as confused as ever. Maybe she needed to update the software on her gaydar.

Over the next few days Santana developed a specific routine: a morning run, midday swim, nap time, nighttime reading, and bubble baths before bed. Another part of this routine was that Brittany would join Santana for dinner on most days; as they both enjoyed the company.

After two weeks, they both had only ever really interacted with each other. Santana had learnt a lot about Brittany during those nightly dinners. She had figured out that they were the same age, but Brittany was almost done getting her Ph.D. at UCLA; so a genius basically. The only thing still lingering in Santana's mind was that she hadn't mentioned that she was gay. She was really enjoying the company, and didn't know if Brittany would run away if gayness were mentioned. Eventually Santana decided it was time for a beach party to test if Brittany's attitude toward her was different than her attitude toward others. Was she being flirty on purpose, or was she just like that all the time?

The problem Santana faced in her party plan was that she would make Brittany feel out of place. Most of the friends she had invited were lesbians. When the party finally happened, Santana actually found it funny to watch when they all would hit on Brittany. She was a big hit at the party, and she handled it well despite the constant blush and deer-in-headlights look that never left her face. These only reaffirmed Santana's initial suspicions of Brittany's heterosexuality.

After about 20 minutes of letting her squirm and looking to Santana to come rescue her, Santana walked over and took her away from the party.

"Sorry. I forgot to mention that my friends are lesbians," she said with a half-laugh. They walked (still holding hands) to the water's edge on the beach and then Brittany did something Santana did not expect. She punched Santana right on the arm. She had some oomph for a girl normally so playful.

"Really! You're kidding!" She said with humorous indignation. "I thought I was going to get eaten alive."

"Okay. It wasn't that bad." Santana tried to be serious but Brittany flashed an infectious smile.

"I got asked out like 7 times."

"I'm sorry, I thought they'd get the hint eventually. Either that or they'd think you were with me..." Santana put my head down and mumbled that last part, feeling embarrassed for her behavior.

"What are you sorry for? Putting me into an awkward situation or thinking that they'd think I was with you?" Brittany got closer to Santana. Santana was trying to look at the beach, but she could feel Brittany brush against her shoulder.

"Both? I should have told you ahead of time, but I was afraid you might not come. Maybe that would have been better, you obviously weren't having any fun in there."

"It would have been fun if you had been by my side. If we go back, can you stay close and keep your friends from eating me alive?" Brittany wrapped her arm through Santana's left with her head on her shoulder.

"Okay, let's go back. I'll keep the ravenous lesbians away from you." They both laughed, but Santana was still unsure of what this all meant.

When they got back inside, the party was still in full swing. Santana got some beers for them both and they sat on the terrace, still part of the party but in a much more quiet spot. The party went on until about 3:00 in the morning. A couple of friends passed out on Santana's couch and in the guest room while she walked Brittany home.

"Thanks for protecting me and for a good time," she said before giving Santana a hug and a kiss on the cheek. Santana hadn't expected that, but it felt nice.

The next morning, everyone was gone by noon. Santana did away with her routine and just spent the morning watching some people run or swim by the house.

Since Santana had spent the whole night either with Brittany or spying on her, she hadn't gotten to meet any of the local people and friends of friends that had come over. There was one girl that Santana had almost had a conversation with. Her name was Tina. She came up to Santana when Brittany had gone to the bathroom, possibly waiting for that moment to strike. It was less than a minute, but when Brittany came back, she grabbed possessively onto Santana's hand, and Tina took notice. She ended up just walking away.

Thinking back on this made Santana want to see Brittany and apologize for the awkwardness of the party again. So she headed over to Brittany's house. In the 2 weeks they had known each other, Brittany was typically the one to come over to Santana's place when they'd hang out, so Santana had yet to see the inside of Brittany's place. She knocked on the door around sunset and waited, it was a big house and she could've been anywhere inside.

"Hey come in," Brittany said upon answering.

"Thanks, I just wanted to see how you were doing after the party. I know we drank a lot… well I just … wanted to apologize again."

"It's okay, really. But, I wanted to ask you something last night, and if you don't want to answer I understand. Uh…" She led Santana into the living room and they sat on the couch. She had been watching a movie. She was blushing hard again so Santana just answered what she figured was coming from a nervous straight girl.

"Yes, I'm a lesbian, and I promise not to hit on you. So you can relax."

"Santana, wait, I…" a look of surprise was all over her face.

Santana interrupted and continued her blunt confession. "All straight girls get nervous when they find out a friend they've been spending a lot of time with is a lesbian. It's entirely normal, and I'm not offended. I've just done this song and dance before, so many times. Was I wrong?"

"Yes!" Santana took a prolonged gulp. "Santana, I wouldn't mind if you hit on me."

Santana turned to look into Brittany's eyes, but Brittany turned her head away too fast for Santana to read her emotions.

"That doesn't fit with what your body language said last night when my friends were all over you."

"I said YOU; not them."

Was this really happening? Santana looked right at her, but Brittany had turned her attention back the movie. Santana needed some clarification. She didn't want to be another straight girl's experiment. She came to the beach for a rebound one-night stand, but being a curious girl's first lesbian experience was a whole other thing. "Brittany, I am going to leave at the end of the summer and so will you. Is that why you're so cool with this? Think you can just indulge the lonely lesbian and then just never see her again."

"No, I'm cool with it because that's just who I am. I think you're fun, and even when we go our separate ways I think we could be great friends." She was finally looking at Santana. "And flirting is fun."

"Fun for you maybe."

They hung out for a bit watching some awful movies. Every once and a while, Santana noticed Brittany not watching the movie, but instead staring at her lips. Santana had noticed this occurrence a few times before whenever they ate together. She thought briefly that it was a sign Brittany wanted to kiss her, and maybe was attracted to her, but was nervous about it. Regardless, it was nice to have no more secrets between them.

Santana went home eventually, claiming she was tired. The real reason however was that a really sexy movie had come on, and it just made her think about Brittany naked. She was just really hot and everything she did was a turn on for Santana. Santana needed to get out of there because she was not about to start on the wrong foot by accidentally falling for the straight girl she would never see again.

That's why once she was home she made a decision and called an old friend (it was a fuck-buddy). No-strings-attached sex to get her mind off the straight girl next door was the only thing she could think of to clear her mind. Unfortunately for Santana, she didn't really remember much of the encounter. Normally, she loved casual sex, but this time she had to turn off her brain. Santana pretty much consumed all the alcohol leftover from the party herself because she kept thinking about Brittany. So basically it was a big sexy blur involving all 3 bedrooms, the couch, the kitchen, and the bathroom. The terrace saw some action too, and that might have been a bad idea considering the volume factor. Brittany probably heard them.

Santana's sex monster was put to rest, for the moment, but her heart felt empty. The girl was gone by dawn, not that Santana really cared or even noticed. She just left and Santana got ready for a morning swim. Considering how tired she was, the water would soothe the muscles.

When she got down to the beach she saw Brittany sitting on the sand in front of her house and she seemed to be watching her. Santana wondered how long she had been out there. Normally Brittany was a late sleeper. Santana never usually saw her until after 1:00.

"Hey neighbor," Santana yelled and waved casually.

"How are you awake and moving after such a wild night? I thought you were 'tired' last night? Liar."

"Oh shit." Santana said quietly to herself. With a heavy blush, Santana walked over to Brittany and said, "I'm always up this early. You are not. What's the deal?"

"Someone kept me up all night, want to guess who?" Santana couldn't tell if Brittany's anger was derived from sleeplessness or (she hoped) jealousy.

"Yeah …" Santana felt really guilty. "How about I make it up to you with breakfast? Then you can sleep all day if you want, with no interrupting neighbors." Santana tried to make a sad innocent pouty face.

"Fine." Brittany was looking away from Santana. "Are you going to gossip about your girlfriend?" She was not going to let the subject drop.

"She's not … um … it's just a … well …"

"Friend with benefits?" Her tone was obviously not happy; it reminded Santana of when your teacher gives you detention.

"More like all benefits, no friendship." Santana just couldn't stop digging herself deeper.

"I'm going to go shower and change and I'll meet you later for that breakfast debt."

"Brittany, if you don't want to go, then don't feel like you have to. I get it if my life choices make you uncomfortable."

"What? Where did that come from?" Her tone indicated her surprise.

"I can hear it in your voice. Look, I promise I didn't mean to keep you up last night, and I get it if you don't want to go be around me anymore, don't feel obligated." Santana moved to walk away, but Brittany grabbed her hand and pulled her back.

Her voice was no more than a whisper. "Why are you being this way? Don't be so defensive. I'm sorry I was snippy with you. Honestly, I was so pissed at you when I saw and heard you with her." She took a second to think. "… because … you had said you were tired, you like ditched me and lied about it."

"Brittany, you said me being gay didn't bother you. Has actually witnessing it changed your feelings?" Santana held both of Brittany's shoulder forcing Brittany to look at her. If this was the end of their friendship, it wouldn't be a first for Santana. She knew that these kinds of things came with consequences.

Brittany stayed stuck with her thoughts for a moment before something appearing to hit her: the truth. So she pulled away quickly, and gave a bullshit answer, "I just don't want you to lie to me! If you don't want to hang out then fine, but be honest with me." She was smiling, but it seemed forced.

"Ok, so I'll let you get ready and I'll meet you outside." Santana kissed her on the cheek and walked away.

They ate in mostly silence.

Santana thought about how some friends were going to be celebrating a birthday at a club in the city, and she knew she wanted to go, but that would mean she wouldn't be back to the house until probably Sunday. She thought of inviting Brittany, but she figured they probably could use the time apart. Santana let her know at some point during the meal so she wouldn't think something bad happened to her during the long weekend she'd be away.

She ended up staying until Sunday night, getting home around 9:00. Santana was tired and exhausted. She was ready to pass out, but she noticed the light on at Brittany's and stopped by to tell her she was home.

Brittany answered the door briskly. "Hey, what are you doing here?"

"Um, I actually just wanted to tell you I was home." She realized how it seemed kind of weird given how awkward they had left things.

"Brittany, who's at the door?" It was a guy's voice. Santana guessed Brittany had had some fun too.

"My neighbor." She called back at him before turning back to Santana. "Well I'm glad you're home."

"Yeah, well, have fun. I'll see you around." She just closed the door before Santana was finished saying that.

Santana walked away feeling awkward and embarrassed. She decided she knew now how Brittany must have felt the day she heard her booty call happening on the terrace. "Fuck I think I have fallen for the straight girl next door. Shoot me."

Santana woke up very early the next morning eager to start her morning activities. There was nothing unusual about what she did, but there was one significant absence. Brittany didn't come over for dinner. Santana didn't see her all day: she never left her house to sit on her deck or anything. Santana was curious, but she was too stubborn to go over and see what was up. This went on for a full week. Eventually Brittany left her solitude as Santana came across her while swimming one morning.

"Hi."

"Hi." There was a long silence.

"This isn't awkward at all…" Santana thought a sarcastic joke would lighten the mood, and to her surprise it worked. Brittany smiled at her.

"It's been a while."

"Yeah, because you've been avoiding me." Santana snapped at Brittany. She hadn't intended it to sound as mean as it came out.

"This was a mistake…" Brittany turned around and started to head back to her house. Santana rushed over to grab her arm to apologize.

"You didn't deserve that, I'm sorry. It's hard for me not to be a bitch to people. I have no right to be mad at you. I'm as much to blame for us not hanging out. When you didn't come to dinner a week ago, I just made assumptions. I could have just asked what was wrong, but I didn't. I thought you needed space to figure everything out … about me, about us. I should have just been there for you."

Brittany looked to be tearing up. "No one's ever let me figure things out for myself before. My family always just tells me what to do and when to do it." Santana never knew that about her. This was a whole new Brittany. "I made assumptions to. When you left for the whole weekend I thought you wanted to get away from me. It just reminded me of how you left me that night and everything else. I convinced myself you didn't want me to come over, so I didn't. We were such good friends. Is it ruined?"

"No absolutely not. How about we forget this past week, and start making up for it right now. Come over and I'll cook you something?"

Brittany laughed. "If we solve every fight with food, we'll both get pretty fat." Santana's body filled with joy knowing that her and Brittany would be okay. So she did the only thing she could think of and hugged Brittany close. Santana enjoyed the feeling of having Brittany and her body so close, but she refused to let it be anything more than friendly, so she kept it short.

"But at least we will be happy, come on." Santana started to drag Brittany toward her house.

"Fine." In an unexpected move, Brittany forewent a simple handheld walk to Santana's house, and instead jumped on Santana's back and demanded a piggyback ride. Santana was simply too shocked to stop it. Brittany rested her head on Santana's shoulder, as Santana started moving again. Also, as if forcing Santana to carry someone bigger than herself wasn't enough, Brittany started to tease Santana by nibbling on her earlobe. Santana didn't know what was worse, the strain on her muscles or the growing fire in her loins.

"Careful! I might drop you," was all Santana could say without moaning in pleasure or yelling in pain.

This only made Brittany grip her tighter, and increase her teasing. She even went as far as licking Santana's entire ear. Santana could no longer survive and she collapsed down onto her knees before shaking Brittany off of her back and flopping down onto the sand.

Brittany flopped down next to her with a gigantic pout on her face. Once she had regained her breath, Santana sat up and then straddle Brittany's waist and pinned her to the sand. "That was not nice," she said.

Brittany just giggled. "You loved it."

"No. I did not." Santana got right up into Brittany's face to show her she meant it.

Both of them then just burst out in laughter for a few moments. Once that had passed, they both became more aware of their positions. Santana was on top of Brittany, and her face was only 2 inches from Brittany's. Santana thought about kissing her. She wanted it in every fiber of her being. But she was worried that it would ruin everything that they had just fixed. Kissing her now might send her running.

So Santana got off Brittany, stood up, and then helped Brittany to her feet. But in the process of doing that, they ended up in a similar predicament, only now vertical. Santana didn't need another debate with herself this time, she simply turned away and pulled Brittany the rest of the way to her house.

Ending up in the sand had left them both pretty dirty. Santana asked Brittany to wait in her kitchen while she showered off all the sand. Since Santana had been wet from a swim from before seeing Brittany, she was way more covered. But that was just the excuse she used with Brittany. Santana's shower needed to be a nice and cold one after getting that close to kissing Brittany. It had her the OTHER wet.

Brittany just did a quick dusting off on the terrace before coming in. As she was dusting off, she stopped to watch Santana walk away as she started to undress. She watched as Santana lowered the straps of the one-piece she was wearing. Brittany just stared and Santana's bare back. Santana knew Brittany was looking at her, so she decided to turn around just barely while covering her breasts with her arms, "Pick out what you want me to make while I do this, okay?" Brittany's eyes bugged out of her head and she blushed like crazy. The seduction had begun.

Santana didn't keep her promise about being quick. It took her 20 minutes get all the sand out of her hair. While in the shower, she worried she had taken it too far before with Brittany. So she decided to dress sort of modestly compared to what she had on before. She put on a pair of board shorts and a tank top. But the tank top was white and since the bra she also put on was black, there would still be some teasing happening, just in case Brittany HAD enjoyed her display before.

Santana came out to find Brittany fidgeting on the couch. "What are you going to make me?" She asked.

"I told you to pick something." Santana said back.

"Oh I mustn't have heard you." Perhaps she was distracted by something, Santana thought to herself.

"Here's an idea," Santana began. "Why don't we cook something together?"

"You're putting me to work? I thought this was your apology meal?"

"You said it yourself, we both have things to apologize for. Plus you look so uncomfortable sitting there on the couch, you look like you need to be put to work."

"Okay, but this is a one time thing."

"Thank you." Santana gave her a small kiss on the cheek, to reward her for her agreement, before heading to the fridge.

Their brunch turned out great. Then they decide to just sit around Santana's house catching up for the lost week. They talked for the rest of the day into the early night, and they ended up making dinner together too. In that time, Brittany happened to mention that the guy Santana had found her with was her cousin checking up on her on behalf of her parents. Not that Santana felt threatened anymore or anything.

It got late. They were both tired and full of food. Brittany finally went home around 10 and all Santana could do was think about her for the rest of the night and replay everything that had happened. She thought again about how close they came to kissing, and the look on Brittany's face before her shower. It eventually got too much for her and she just had to take care of herself. Her thoughts of Brittany led her to 3 amazing orgasms that night.

The next two weeks were a letdown in turns of sexy action. They continued to have dinner together every night but that was all. Santana felt so embarrassed about having masturbated to Brittany that she decided to keep it PG between them for some time. Somewhere deep down she knew what they had wasn't normal anymore, but at some point she gave up on trying to define what they were and just gave in to having her around. In her mind Santana kept telling herself: "Brittany is straight and confused, and you are gay and in L…ust."

Finally one day, Santana had to fly to New York to begin putting things together for the next phase of her life. She was going to Columbia to get her Master's degree. She had to fly out to make sure her future apartment would be livable when she got out there in September. Santana had asked Brittany if she wanted to come, but she gracefully declined saying one of them needed to guard their places from amphibious sea creatures. Part of that made sense to Santana, but she still wished Brittany had said yes. Overall though, the trip served as a grim reminder that the summer was coming to an end, and soon Brittany and Santana would have to say their goodbyes.

Her time in New York gave Santana a chance to reevaluate herself and her feelings. She came to the conclusion that she had definitely fallen in love with Brittany, despite her promises to herself not to. She ended up calling Brittany constantly, whenever she had some free time, and they even got to maintain their streak of having dinner together. The time difference screwed up things for them somewhat, but they didn't care.

Once Santana did everything that was necessary, she got on the first available plane she could, even earlier that she had a reservation for. She needed to get back to see Brittany. If she couldn't survive a long weekend apart from Brittany, what did that mean for the end of the summer? Brittany received Santana's call about her earlier flight, and she immediately altered all her plans for the day to make sure she could be at the airport once Santana arrived.

When the time finally came, Santana turned a corner out of the arrival concourse and was promptly tackle-hugged by Brittany, who had sprinted to her from out of nowhere. They held each other close and delighted in all the little things they had been deprived of. Things like the scents of each other's hair, the little squeaky noises they made trying to get a tighter grip on each other, and how their height difference made it so easy to fit together comfortably.

Brittany kissed the top of Santana's head, and then as they pulled away from each other slightly, but still holding each other, Santana got up on her tiptoes to look be level with Brittany's eyes. She wanted Brittany to see just how happy she was to be back.

Brittany decided that she needed words though. "I missed you."

Santana leaned her forehead against Brittany's and said with a content sigh, "I missed you too."

Brittany pulled away shaking her head, "No. More than you think." Then she kissed Santana.

Santana was in shock; she couldn't believe it was really happening. Santana put aside her shock quickly enough though and she pulled Brittany closer. Her lips felt soft and delicate, but there was still a hunger behind them.

As they kissed, they each felt like a bolt of lightening had gone through them. They were waking up and feeling things they had never felt before. The world around them no longer mattered, but reluctantly, Santana broke the kiss and looked around for any sign they had caused a scene. Thankfully it seemed this was a common occurrence in the arrival concourse.

Santana took Brittany's hand and said, "Take me to your car, and you can finish telling me how much you missed me there."

Brittany gripped Santana's hand tightly as she directed Santana toward her car. When they were both seated comfortably, Santana turned to Brittany and saw just how happy she look, probably the happiest Santana had ever seen her be. "Brittany (not that I'm complaining), but why did you kiss me?"

"You were gone for only a short time, but it hurt me so much inside. Being apart from you made me realize how much I missed you. It didn't feel like I had ever felt before, I had never missed anybody more than I missed you. It felt like I had a Santana-sized whole in my heart. I finally admitted to myself that it was because I had feelings for you."

"Is this the part where you tell me that you're still straight, but you want me to be your exception?" She didn't want to kill the mood, but Santana didn't want to get her hopes up either.

"Santana, I know that you make me feel things no man … no one has ever made me feel. I've always thought I was straight because, for the longest time, I never knew there was any other option. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I don't know what I am, but I do know I can't waist what little time we have left figuring that out if it means not being with you."

Santana finally let herself feel happy, and she kissed Brittany to show her. She let herself forget the ticking clock counting down to the day she would have to leave the beach and Brittany behind to start her new life in New York. When they got back to Santana's house, Brittany refused to leave and they slept that night in each other's arms.

Over the next two weeks they spent even more time together. Despite Brittany saying she didn't want to waste time figuring her sexuality out, she did open up some more to Santana about her life before coming to the beach. She was from a family deep in old WASP-y money, and this meant there was just no way she could be anything but straight without incurring the wrath of her parents and risking possible disownment. It was bad enough for them that she had decided to pursue her education in lieu of marrying young and popping out new heirs to the family fortune. They never thought of her as her own person, she was always **their** daughter, like she was property to them.

In those first few days together, they made the best of their time without going all the way. Brittany had never been with a woman before, and Santana was secretly afraid that letting herself experience that ultimate act of love would make her do something rash like offer to give up New York for Brittany. Things might have been different if they had had more time to figure things out, but as things sat for them then, Santana didn't want to change her plans if Brittany couldn't give her any assurance that she could be more than just a secret.

It wasn't until only 3 days before she would have to leave, that things took a turn. Santana had just finished showering while Brittany did the dishes, and so she came to check on her in just a towel. Santana went behind Brittany and hugged her around her waist leaning her head against Brittany's back. She listened to the faint sounds of Brittany's heart beating. Being close to her and feeling the warmth of her body put Santana in a trance.

Brittany turned around to kiss Santana and get a full taste of her luscious lips. It was mostly innocent kissing until Brittany noticed Santana's lack of clothing. It ignited something in her to see Santana like that. It brought Brittany back to that day coming in from the beach and seeing Santana almost naked for the first time. She cursed herself for not acting on her budding attraction then, it would have given them so much more time together. Santana looked into Brittany's eyes and knew in that moment that there would be no going back now.

Brittany unknotted Santana's towel and it fell to the ground leaving her completely naked. She then took one long look at Santana from head to toe, before reaching out and softly caressing every curve on her naked body. Santana looked again at Brittany's eyes, but noticed behind the blue that there was a fire burning now, wanting to ignite them both. She pushed Santana until her back was against the fridge, and then Brittany increased the fervor of her explorations by switching from using her hands to her lips.

Despite her inexperience, Brittany came at Santana with confidence and hunger, and Santana had to hold on to the fridge to keep from falling over in sudden pleasure. Santana thought about putting a stop to all of it, mindful of her prior misgivings, but then Brittany latched onto one of her nipples with her whole mouth, and Santana gave in. Brittany wanted more and so she pulled away, picked Santana up, and took her to the bed.

When she was back on the ground at the foot of her bed, Santana began to undress Brittany to even them up. Brittany was not wearing much: a bikini top, then shorts, and panties. They stood there naked and exposed to each other. It was then Brittany's fears started to creep up on her, which Santana noticed. So she sat both of them down on the bed before gently asking, "Are you sure this is what you want?"

"Yes." Brittany said quickly. She knew what she wanted; she just wasn't sure how to get it.

Santana knew she had to take the lead on this one, so she went to make Brittany feel at ease. She had every intention of showing her what love making between two women could be like and making sure every one of her needs was met. "I don't want to brag, but if we do this, I might ruin all men for you."

"Who cares?" No more questions needed to be asked.

Santana made Brittany lie flat on the bed. Then she kissed every single part of her body: from her head to her toes. No part was excluded from worship. Santana appreciated every taught muscle and every curve. Brittany touched Santana too, to let her know she was enjoying it, but Santana wouldn't break her concentration. As Santana sucked on every single one of Brittany's fingers, Brittany looked up at Santana with the biggest smile.

Santana caressed Brittany's breasts gently, but rough enough to show her that there was lust there too. Brittany's moans became louder as they forced themselves from her body as she begged to be fucked. Santana knew that Brittany wanted this as much as she did.

Santana kept focus on Brittany's breasts for a few minutes: making sure that both were getting equal attention either with her mouth or her hands. Then she slowly worked her thigh in between Brittany's legs and let it come to rest atop Brittany's throbbing pussy. There she felt how wet it was. She was ready.

Finally not being able to take any more, she begged, "Please Santana, make me yours. I want you." Santana thought that she sounded so sexy.

"Can I taste you?"

"Whatever you want. Just don't tease."

Santana went down on Brittany and made Brittany hers. Her aroma was sweet; her taste was addicting. Santana tried everything she could to make sure it would be the best thing Brittany had ever felt. What had started as a lustful attraction to her hot neighbor had become something more, and Santana knew they were making love, and not just getting each other off.

She could feel Brittany begin to arch her back off the bed and thrust her hips forward. Santana knew Brittany was looking for release, but it would happen soon. Finally she jumped of the bed screaming.

"Oh fuck, oh fuck!"

Santana laughed with a proud, smug chuckle. "'Fuck'? That's not my name."

Brittany smiled, hearing the sarcasm. "Santana, I'm almost there!"

"That's better." Santana went back to her mission, thrusting her tongue deep into her gaping pussy. Then she sucked on Brittany's clit to put on a finishing touch.

"Santana, I'm cumming!" Santana felt Brittany's juices gush out and she drank up every last drop. But this would not be the end. Santana let her come down just enough to catch her breath, before going right back to her clit and thrusting two fingers into her, pumping slowly, making sure to push in as far as possible.

Then Brittany began to shake again, "Santana, I can't …" She tried to squirm away but a second orgasm hit her before she could comprehend it. Santana held her down and licked her slowly as Brittany flailed on the bed.

As much as Santana wanted to keep making Brittany cum all night, she knew Brittany needed a rest.

"Santana! I can't believe it. I never cum during sex, and you made it happen twice!" She said this in between deep breaths with her eyes closed. Santana came up to lie next to her, she wanted Brittany to taste herself and enjoy the taste like she just had. Santana got close and Brittany opened her eyes. As if reading Santana's mind, she took one look and went right for it. She kissed and licked clean Santana's entire face of her own juices. Eager Brittany was back, and Santana was turned even more.

"Wow, I taste good," then with the fire burning again, she said, "but I bet you'll taste way better."

"Don't think so, I've never tasted anything better than you." Santana pulled her in and kissed her again. Brittany moaned as she felt Santana's tongue enter her mouth and she tasted herself again on it.

"I want you, Santana, I want to make love to you. I want to make you feel as good as you just made feel. I'm gonna do it, and I'm gonna taste you."

"Don't feel obligated, it's your first time with another woman…"

"Shut up, Santana." That was hot. "When you went away, all I could think about was you: how I missed your hot body and being in your arms. When I kissed you, I knew that I would not be satisfied until I got to fuck you. So fuck yes I'm going to fuck you Santana Lopez. I don't just I want to, but I need to. I will never have enough of you."

Brittany forced Santana onto her back and kissed her neck. She nibbled and licked her way to Santana's ear. As she reached her destination, Santana had no choice but to release soft moans, it was just like when Brittany had jumped on her back. Her right hand went to Santana's breast. Santana responded by drawing her hand down Brittany's torso and began to caress Brittany's breast.

"Uh" a gasp of pleasure escaped Santana as Brittany bit harder on her earlobe. "I want you so bad, Brittany."

Santana parted her legs for Brittany, and she settled in between them comfortably. But then, Santana reached down wither left hand to softly rub Brittany's clit.

"NO!" Brittany stopped what she was doing, and so did Santana. "I'm fucking you. I can't concentrate if you do that."

Santana relented and smirked as Brittany began to move her fingers lower as her mouth went to Santana's nipple. Her fingers reached Santana's pussy and felt the wetness and moaned through her kiss on Santana's breast. She felt how aroused she had made Santana, and she went in with one finger. Santana moaned letting her know that she wanted her to keep going. She inserted another finger and another moan escaped from Santana while she grabbed the sheets underneath her and threw her head back. She started pulsating and Brittany's eyes never left her face. Brittany formed a rhythm and Santana matched it with her upward movements and wrapped her legs around Brittany.

"Open your eyes and look at me," Brittany ordered. "I want to see your eyes when you cum for me."

Santana was not going to deny her. She opened her eyes and looked at Brittany's and saw that hers were filled with an unspoken love. Brittany felt Santana's body start to shake and she knew Santana was close, because a smile formed on her face. "Santana cum for me."

"Oh fuck." Brittany used her thumb to gently apply pressure to Santana's clit encircling it while her other fingers were inside her. Santana's nails dug into Brittany's flesh as she pushed deeper into Santana. She continued toying with Santana's clit as she climaxed, "Oh Brittany!"

Santana's body shook from top to bottom, and she hugged her legs against Brittany tighter as the orgasm ripped through her body. Brittany only slowed down a little. When it had stopped, she gently pulled out her fingers, causing Santana to shiver once more. She brought her fingers up to her lips to taste every drop of Santana on them. She sucked her first finger clean while she looked down at Santana with a big smile on her face. Then, she offered her second finger to Santana and Santana sucked it like a Popsicle.

"Now I'm eating you out and your going to scream." Santana was shocked; she had created a monster. Brittany lifted Santana's legs up and over her shoulders as she went to work. Santana gave in to her. She moaned, gasped, jumped, twisted and finally, she screamed in ecstasy. Santana was at Brittany's mercy and she enjoyed every moment of it. She was in love with this girl.

This night went on for hours; they were completely spent by the end of it. The night gave way to morning, and then to night again. They ended up fucking for two straight days. The morning of the last day arrived, and Santana was going to have to pack up her things and go.

They had both decided earlier that once this day came, they would not be tied to each other. Free to live their lives and if fate brought them back together, then so be it. Santana didn't know what Brittany was thinking, but after that had just happened in the last 48 hours, she knew that she had given her heart and soul to Brittany, and she would never be able to give that to another woman again.

Santana rose from the bed and found Brittany outside with a cup of coffee in her hand and tears in her eyes. When Santana tried to go up to her and comfort her, Brittany turned away and walked back to her house alone.

Three hours later after she had finished packing and showering, she went to spend the rest of the day with Brittany at her house. Brittany was more welcoming now, and she held Santana as they cried together.

"I don't want you to leave."

"Brittany, I promise you that I will always hold you close to my heart and if you ever need me I will be a phone call away. I will always be there to listen."

When they got to the airport Santana was heart-broken. "Well this is my stop."

"I'll miss you." She had tears coming down her face.

"I know, I'm going to miss you too." Santana unbuckled her seatbelt and opened her door. She made sure Brittany stayed put. They would say their goodbyes here, no need to prolong it inside. She stood by the driver side window. "I need you to know one thing, before I leave."

"Tell me"

She kissed Brittany and then whispered in her ear, the words she longed to say for weeks, "I love you." Brittany felt her breath catch in her throat, unable to speak or move. Santana turned and walked away, not waiting for an answer, because she didn't want one. But she did look back briefly and saw Brittany crying even harder against her steering wheel.

She started the summer looking for rebound sex but had found love - the love of her life. She knew that already. They were soulmates, and she could never love another the way she loved Brittany. But she needed Brittany to figure that out herself.

Little did she know, Brittany already had. "I love you too."

* * *

**Brittany and Santana will return ...**


	2. And Beyond

_**Once again, I claim no ownership of any elements legally owned by others. I received no financial compensation from this, therefore it is classified as fair use. Resemblance to other properties published in TV, Film, or Literature (other than those related to Glee) are not intended.**_

* * *

Santana sat in her cozy New York City loft apartment. The first snow of the season had begun to fall. Santana had been here for over a year and she was still not accustomed to the weather. When she had first seen snow falling she spent the whole night just watching it accumulate on her balcony. This night however, she had something else to occupy her attention.

She held the small book in her hands. The binding was weak, the pages were bent and slightly torn. Clearly this book had seen many adventures. She opened to the first page and read what it had to say: _The Private Diary of Brittany Susan Pierce._

It seemed wrong to be reading this, but she had to in order to understand everything. She continued reading. In began on the first of November. Brittany had begun writing this just over one year ago. Two months after Santana had left her behind to come here to New York.

_**November 1st**_

_To the love of my life,_

_I want you to know how I feel, but I have no right to force myself into your new life. So I will write everything to you in this diary. It's a letter, a letter that you probably won't ever get to read. _

_I'm sorry for not being strong enough and for all the times I have failed you. I hope that one day, in this lifetime or the next, I will find you. But even if we met again in this life I don't know if I would be ready. The only thing I know for sure is that I love you more than my own life, even though I couldn't say it when I had the chance. In the little time we were together, you were my soul, my light, and my journey. Without you, my life makes no sense. _

_The emptiness inside me is killing me, but that's not your problem. You will never again have to worry about me because I already feel dead without you. You took my being and my heart with you. You left me empty, an emptiness that no one will ever be able to fill..._

Santana had only read the first page, but she had already started to cry. But she had to keep reading. She turned the page and began again.

_Santana's been gone for two months, and I'm back to my usual routine: school and family. _

_I have a trust fund that I kicked in when I was 18. My parents decided that I had to be comfortable but responsible, so I never really had to have a job. I was so tempted to just buy an awesome car and a lot of clothes, but I didn't. I chose to keep going to school, getting an education, hoping to become the kind of person that earns their money. _

_I did spend some of the money, but intelligently. I started buying old houses, and then I hired other people to fix them up and sell them again. It sounds really complicated most of the time, but I enjoy it because every house has a story, and it's fun to meet people and hear their stories. With the right connections and meeting the right people, I've done well. _

_Whenever I'm in one of those houses I think of the house on the beach. Where I met Santana. Since she walked away from me at the end of the summer, I've decided that Santana is probably the love of my life… I know probably… yes definitely. When I went to live at my sister's beach house for the summer to get away from everything, I didn't expect to meet such an incredibly hot ass neighbor. I didn't think I could be gay, that was the problem. From the moment I saw her I thought she was hot and I felt an attraction to her. I had never felt this way about a woman the way I felt about her. _

_She warned me about it once, but she definitely spoiled men for me. I wasn't a virgin when we met, but I had never made love, I guess you could say. Santana made me feel things no one ever had before. I know no man could ever again do that for me. No woman either. But, I don't want anyone else; I am in love with Santana._

_It could mean being disowned if I told my family I was in love with her, and I just can't do it. And since I never had the nerve to explain my feelings to her, when she told me she loved me, she did it and ran away thinking I wouldn't say it back. _

_I am only 22, but in the eyes of my parents I should have been married with a litter of kids already. Even though I'm pretty much a genius with aspirations to study, they don't care. It's all just too confusing for them. _

_So now, I guess Santana and I are back to being just friends. We talk on the phone pretty regularly, but we don't talk about our love for each other. I miss her, but I can't give her what she needs yet. She once told me that if I asked her to stay she would have, but I couldn't ask her to give up New York for me if all I had to offer was a closet. _

_She's coming back though, for Christmas, and I plan making the most of it. But that's not for another two months, and until then I have to keep my feelings to myself. If she wants to see other girls, then she is free to do so. As attractive as she is, I expect that some lucky girl will scoop her up soon. She deserves a real girlfriend._

_**November 5th**_

_No matter how busy I am, my family insists on setting me up with "Nice Guys." All of them old men in their late 30's and ready to "settle down" with a trophy wife. But I'm not ready to settle down! I want to finish school! _

_Before Santana, I didn't care too much about going on these blind dates. I would always manage to ditch them after a date or two, before they got attached. Now, I don't want to even go. Santana is the only person I want to spend my time with, and she's always on my mind. _

_Today was my first date since she and I… broke up, if what we had even counted as dating. My mom set it up, and it was another "nice guy." This guy was no different from the rest. He wanted me to settle down, quit school, and have kids. I wanted to die the whole time. I don't want to do this anymore. I have to learn how to say no to my parents. I'm almost at the point where I can make enough of my own money that I won't need them anymore, so I don't know why I can't._

_I still have a few weeks before Santana comes to see me; she's all I ever think about. She has no family left here and I'm the only reason she's coming. I feel so happy. I smile when I think of her, but then it also makes me sad. _

_When I got home I called Santana, I hadn't told her I was going on a date, but I missed her so much and needed to hear her voice._

_I forgot the time difference, so she sounded groggy, "Hello?" _

_"Sorry, I woke you up, this was a bad idea." _

_"No it's fine. Is everything ok?" _

_I miss her voice so much that I started to cry just hearing it again. "Yeah, I just really miss you, Santana. I'm sorry. I know I shouldn't be doing this. I just had a horrible date. It made me think about how wrong it was for me to let you leave." I couldn't take it anymore. There was always so much we never said to each other._

_"Oh… I didn't realize you were seeing someone." Her voice sounded sad, heartbroken. I shouldn't have just blurted that whole 'date' part out without explaining it first._

_"I'm not, it's these stupid blind dates my parents make me go on."_

_"Britt, you know I'm here for whatever you need. Maybe someday you'll find some guy who can give you the world, someone your parents will love." How can she say that? How could she not understand?_

_"No Santana I want you." It was almost a whisper._

_"Britt, I want you too, but you're not ready. I don't think you will ever be ready, as hard as it is for me to know that. You need your family's approval and they will never give it to you." _

_How could she say that? It was true. But still, how could she say that? I hate the truth. I hate that she no longer sugarcoats everything for me. But how can I expect her to pretend after I had hurt her so much?_

_I let her believe we could never be together. She always gave me the space I needed to evaluate my feelings for her, she never once forced me. All she ever did was be the most amazing person in the world. Why am I doing this? Why am I being so selfish?_

_"Hello... Brittany?"_

_"I'm here, you're right. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have called... have a good night."_

_"Br..."_

_I hung up and turned off my phone._

_She deserved better. She deserved someone who didn't care what everyone thought about them. Someone who won't hold back, someone who's not afraid. I don't deserve her._

_**November 6th**_

_I stayed awake all night crying because I realized that hanging up on her like that was a horrible thing to do. All she had ever done was be good to me. Yet here I was, calling her, bringing up old feelings. How could I be so stupid? _

_I sometimes wonder what scares me more: being with Santana or not being with Santana; having to deal with the way my parents control my life or no longer having a family. Sometimes I tell myself, Santana would be my family. I can't believe that after everything she still answers when I call, even though I know I break her heart every time. _

_This morning when I awoke from the small amount of sleep did get, I turned on my phone to find that I had a voicemail. It was Santana. How could she want to be with me when all I ever do is hurt her? She tells me: "I'm sorry if I said anything to hurt you. I told you once and I'll tell you again, 'I love you.' Don't ever feel like you can't talk to me." _

_I started crying again. That's been happening a lot. _

_**November 7th**_

_I went the next 24 hours without calling Santana back. I gave in this morning when I knew she would be on her way to church. She's so cute with the way she goes to church without being forced. I love how she can be so spiritual but is still proud of who she is. _

_"Good morning my beautiful Brittany."_

_"Good morning Santana, you sound happy."_

_"It's just that I love hearing your voice. I missed you yesterday." _

_"Part of me thought I could be strong and never call you again. I failed miserably."_

_I think our friendship is back on track. _

_**December 19th**_

_I haven't written anything in a while. The weeks leading up to Christmas have been a blur because I have been working overtime to finish my dissertation. It was a nice distraction from constantly thinking about Santana. I feel a distance growing between us but hopefully her visit will change that. _

_I have no clue what seeing her again will be like. If it involves hours and hours of hot sex I would be totally okay with that, but if all she wanted to be was my friend, then that would have to be enough. _

_She gets here in 2 days. Today she called me:_

_"Brittany … do you … still want me to come?"_

_"WHAT? Of course I want to see you. I thought you bought your ticket already?"_

_"Yeah … I just want to make sure you still wanted me to come."_

_"If you don't come, then I will find you." _

_"Okay, okay! My flight arrives at 6 in the morning, sorry it's so early."_

_"Don't be! It's totally worth it just to have you here."_

_**December 21th**_

_I cleaned my house a million times yesterday and she wasn't even going to stay here. She decided to stay at a hotel. Why I don't know. I offered for her to stay with me, but she said it was probably better for her to stay in hotel in case my family visited. _

_This morning, I picked up her favorite coffee frappucino on my way to the airport. Every time we talk I swear that's what she's drinking no matter how late at night it is._

_She looked stunning coming through the gate. She was wearing a white dress shirt, fitted black slacks, and a black wool trench coat. Her clothes must have been tailored because they perfectly hugged her sexy body. She was also wearing heels. She was tall now, and she was even more stunning. _

_She made my heart skip a beat when she came up and said, "Hey beautiful." Then she placed a delicate kiss on my lips. _

_I instantly forget everything I had planned on saying. So I wrapped my arms around her neck (which was easier than it used to be considering how tall she was in heels) and hugged her tight. _

_"Can I be your girlfriend for the next two weeks Brittany Pierce?" She can be so sexy without even trying._

_"Yes!" I kissed her this time. "Do you want to go to the hotel or my place?"_

_"Your place. I can't check-in until like noon, I think, you know how weird hotels are."_

_The drive home was nice. I felt happier than I had been in the last 4 months. I know that my heart will break again when she leaves in 2 weeks, but for now I will enjoy every minute we have together. _

_"So this is my house. Oh and by the way I plan on making use of every single one of those rooms with you." I walked away slowly, letting her check me out. I was wearing a skirt just for her. She loves my legs and my ass. _

_I went into my kitchen, headed for the fridge, and looked for something to cook. I thought maybe cooking together would take us back to how we were on the beach. I heard her walking towards me. I could hear her heels clicking on the hard wood floors. She even sounds sexy when she walks. _

_She came up behind me, wrapped her arms around my waist, and pulled me close to her. She pushed me forward into the fridge and whispered in my ear, "I'm hungry Brittany. You have something I haven't had in 4 months. Do you know what it is?" She kept her arms around me and started to pull my shirt out of my skirt._

_"Santana, make me yours again." She started to undo the zipper of my skirt and nibble on my neck; she knew that was my weakness. _

_She whispered again. "You didn't answer my question Brittany. What… am… I… hungry… for?" _

_She now let my skirt fall down to the floor. She forced her thigh between my legs and lifted it upwards against my pussy. As her hands went up my body and cradled my breasts, chills went down my spine. She rubbed my nipples through my bra, and I just wanted her to fuck me right there in my kitchen. "Me?"_

_"Close, but you're only half right. Guess again." Santana worked one of her hands down my stomach and teased the edge of my lacy white thong. I knew what she wanted. _

_"My pussy?"_

_"Bingo." She cupped my pussy and it made me shove my ass right into her. The stimulation to my clit drove me wild. _

_"Uh, fuck, Santana you're such a tease." _

_She pulled both of her hands away and turned me around. Then she proceeded to lick her fingers clean of my juices never taking her eyes off of mine. "I'm not teasing, I just want you to know what I want. I'm just trying to be thorough."_

_She then took my shirt off, and I was more than happy to help her by lifting my arms over my head. She raised it up all the way as she used her other hand to cup my pussy. She placed kisses all the way from my lips, down my jaw, down my neck, and to my right breast. She licked her way along the edge of my bra from one side to the other. She was definitely going to tease me. It had been 4 months for both of us. All I wanted was to get her in my bed, in my arms, hold her tight, and show her how much I loved her. _

_Santana was everything I could have ever asked for. She treated me like a queen. Respected me more than anyone I had ever met. I was with the perfect woman and I didn't know how to live up to her. I didn't know how to be there for her the way she was there for me. I tried not to think about those things and just enjoy the fact that we were totally going to have sex._

_I gave myself over to her wishes. "I love you Santana, I am so yours."_

_"I love you too. I promise I will take care of you as long as you let me. Where's your bedroom?"_

_I was left in a white lace thong and bra. I knew she loved the view as I led the way. She picked up my shirt and skirt and walked behind me. I sat on the bed and watched her fold my shirt and skirt and place them on a chair across my bed. She walked over to me and started to unbutton her shirt. I reached out to help her and looked into her eyes. As I undid each and every button, she never took her eyes off mine. I cold feel the love in her eyes and I swear I could see all the way down into her soul. I undid the buttons and the zipper on her pants. Then I slowly pulled them off. She kicked off her heels and pants and then threw them on the chair with my clothes. _

_Now we were both in our underwear, so I wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled her to me as I leaned back. She reached underneath me bringing an arm under the small of my back and took me up further up the bed, she made me feel as light as a feather. Then she kneeled between my legs and kissed my neck as I undid the clasp on her bra. _

_I took one of her beautiful breasts in my mouth. "Brittany, I've missed you," she moaned. I took my right hand and groped her other breast and wrapped my left around her back to grab her round ass. It didn't take long for me to remember everything her body craved. She let me amuse myself longer than I had anticipated before she finally took back control. _

_She held both of my arms over my head and straddled my hips. I could feel her the warmth and wetness of her pussy near mine and I wanted to grind into it and feel her against me. She grinded back and allowed me to enjoy the sensual movements of her body._

_"Santana, I want you to make love to me: lick me, finger me it doesn't matter. I want you to make me cum again. Please Santana." She loved hearing me say her name. I knew it got her wet. So she bit my neck hard enough to make me moan and scream her name just the way she likes it. "SANTANA!"_

_Nothing else needed to be said. Finally, her hand made its way down to my panties, moving them aside, she saw how soaked they were. She slid her fingers up and down my slit as I moved my hips, laying her body on me to keep me from moving. "You're going to have to keep still."_

_"Nope." _

_She laughed knowing I was right. Then she laid herself down between my legs. She got so close to my wet pussy, that I could feel her hot breath on it as her fingers went inside me. My muscles started to tense, so she slowed down, not allowing me to cum yet._

_As I relaxed, she sped up her fingers and sucked on my clit. I felt ready to fly off the bed. She went to work on my clit and I felt my muscles tense up again. This time she didn't slow down. I shook from top to bottom. She gave me an amazing orgasm. "Fuck SANTANA!"_

_I was still trying to catch my breath when I brought her nipple to my mouth as she came up to lie in bed next to me. She let me just suck away. I was content. "I've missed you Santana."_

_"I've missed you too Brittany but I'm not finished." Before I even knew it she rolled me onto my stomach. "On your knees." _

_"What is this?" I was unsure of what was about to happen. _

_"Do you trust me?" _

_"Of course I do."_

_I guess she sensed my apprehension. "I'll make you feel good, I promise."_

_I wasn't sure I was willing to try anything in my ass yet. However, in that moment, if that's what Santana really wanted, I would let her do anything. I loved her; I'd trust her through anything. I got on all fours so she was behind me. I felt her pressed against my ass as she started kissing the back of my neck. Her lips traveled all the way down my back. She kissed my asshole, but kept going down to my pussy. _

_As she worked one of her fingers inside of me, her mouth went back to my ass and she bit me there. I was so turned on. She put her hand on my shoulder and pulled me back so I could sit in her lap with her fingers still inside of me. I grabbed her thighs to balance myself as she kept fucking me, but I knew she was not going to let me fall. I felt her other hand head toward my clit, and this was when I started feeling another orgasm. I'm glad I trusted her, that position was fucking hot. _

_I came all over her hand. She brought me down gently, first bringing her hand from my clit to my stomach to hold me when the stomach spasms started, then she pulled her fingers out of me, laid me down on the bed, and spooned me. I was more than satisfied. _

_I was still in my bra, so I wanted to take it off. As I got up to do that, I looked at her body and somehow found the necessary energy to keep making love to this amazing woman. She was looking at me with those loving eyes and all I saw in them was love, not just lust. I took off her panties and wanted to get going eating her out, but she stopped me._

"_I'm still hungry," she said. I figured we could compromise, so I turned my body around so that her head was between my legs and her pussy was beneath my face: our first 69. I quickly licked her pussy. I had missed her taste. I had never tasted a woman before I met her, but I know she will be the only woman I will ever taste. I am addicted to her. When we're together nothing else matters, if only I could feel that way all the time. _

_She was so turned on that I brought her to two orgasms before I had my third. I turned back around and we kissed with passion, a passion that had been missing from our lives for too long. I had a hole in my life that only she could fill. I started crying in her arms from both happiness and sadness. _

_"What's wrong? Did I hurt you?"_

_"No you're just perfect, hold me, just hold me close."_

_We fell asleep in each other's arms. A couple hours later, I woke up and was able to get out of bed without waking Santana. I went to immediately write all of it down here so I would never forget. No one will take these memories from me because it may be all that I have in the end._

_I figured I could let Santana sleep another hour, and then we could get ready for dinner. I wanted to take her to my favorite restaurant. Go on a date basically. But since I didn't think she had eaten anything all day, I made her a sandwich to hold her over until then. _

_I didn't want to wake her. She looked so peaceful. But, I climbed into bed, wrapped my arms around her, and kissed her shoulders. _

_"Good Morning," she said with a tired smile._

_"You're cute, but it's actually 5 in the afternoon," I told her._

_She was stunned "Crap!" She sat up in bed._

_"What's wrong?"_

_"I was supposed to check in at my hotel. During the Christmas season they're not too lenient; they can give away my room." She started calling and sure enough her room was given away and they were sold out. I was actually secretly happy. It meant she had to stay with me. Before I could say anything she was pacing naked calling other hotels. Her body is breathtaking: the way it moves and sways, the way she holds herself with so much confidence even naked. _

_I took her phone away and hung up for her. She was confused. "Santana, if you need a pace to stay you don't have to find a hotel. You can stay here in one of the guest rooms. I would love for you to stay in my bed though. Please stay?" _

_"Are you sure?" _

_I hugged her in all her naked beauty. "Of course, we need to make up for lost time." She went to give me a kiss, which I returned, but I didn't let it get any further. "We have to get ready for dinner."_

"_Fine, but we're doing it in the shower…"_

_**December 23rd**_

_Yesterday we went shopping together. She helped me finish my Christmas shopping, grabbing a few things she liked along the way. Her family is scattered around the world, so she mostly just bought a few things for the friends she's going to go visit while here. _

_You see, both of Santana's parents died before she finished high school. She lived with a grandmother for a while when she was left alone, but for the most part she's been on her own since then. But from what she's told me, she's always been so independent that she practically raised herself. When she first started school in New York, she got a great paying internship with a large corporation, who promised her a better position as soon as she finished school. I'm so proud of her. I'm surprised that after everything she has been through she has so much patience with me. She knows she deserves better, yet she puts up with my emotional turmoil. _

_Today my younger sister invited herself over. Luckily she called first and Santana left before she got here. I didn't ask her to do that. I actually wanted her to meet my sister, but she insisted it was for the best. Honestly though, I can't imagine being in the same room as her and acting like I don't love her, so maybe she was right. _

_Santana came home that night with dinner for both of us and then we had some more lady sex. Santana insists on sleeping in the guest room, which was funny to me because she knows I can't resist her. After I finish writing this, I plan on sneaking into her room to sleep. _

_Christmas Eve is tomorrow and her plans are simple: hang out with the friends who didn't celebrate Christmas for the next 2 days. I have family stuff to do. It sucks, but she insisted this was her tradition and had nothing to do with me. I didn't force the subject; she told me she would be back the night of Christmas to spend with me if I could escape my family by then. _

_**December 24th**_

_Today was Christmas Eve. I had to spend it with my parents. I was immediately bombarded with the "when are you going to get married and have kids" questions. This year my mom took it a whole step further. Apparently my sister told her that someone was staying at my place, I guess I was obvious enough even without Santana there._

_"Brittany, come to my room we need to talk." I've always hated "we need to talk," especially, when it's in private. _

_"What is it mom?"_

_"Are you a lesbian?" I almost puked my guts out I was so shocked, how could she know? Where did this even come from?_

_"Mom? What … where is this coming from?" _

_"Look it would explain why you're not married yet. Also your sister said a friend of yours is staying over, the same friend from the beach. Who is she? Brittany, are you a lesbian?"_

_"Mom I'm 22, and I don't have to answer all these questions, but if it will let you calm down, I'll tell you. No I'm not a lesbian. I'm not married because I haven't found a man that is worth my time. My friend is from New York and needed a place to stay, and since when is that a problem? Now if you're done I'm hungry." I hated having to tell so many lies. I was a coward. _

_I went to leave and she said something that only made it worse. "If you ever do think that you don't want to marry a man and prefer to be some kind of lesbian whore, then there'll be no place for you in this family." _

_I couldn't stop myself from talking back. "Really? It'd be worse than being in some loveless marriage? What if I were sad for the rest of my life with some guy who didn't treat me well? You'd prefer that to me being with a woman?"_

_"Yes." She didn't even have to think about it…_

_"Then I'm glad to know I'm not a lesbian;" Another lie, another fake smile._

_"Brittany Susan Pierce we only want what's best for you."_

_"No mom you only want what's best for you and your reputation." I left and didn't even bother with dinner. I told everyone I felt sick and went home early. I knew Santana wouldn't be there. I knew I couldn't tell her about what happened. She would probably be amazing and sweet and I knew she deserved better. _

_We spoke on the phone for a few minutes when the clock hit midnight and she wished me a Merry Christmas. She asked if I was ok and I said yes (I'm getting too good at lying). _

_**December 25th**_

_I went back for Christmas brunch and as usual my mom acted like nothing was wrong. I did the minimum with them, and then went home to Santana. I had missed her. _

_As soon as I was there she ran over gave me an amazing kiss. She told me she missed me. We almost say that to each other more than 'I love you' now. _

_Why was I giving her up for a family who didn't care about my happiness? I couldn't hold back my tears. I'm such a baby. Santana is strong, nothing like me. _

_She asked if she had done something wrong. I laughed. She always thinks she's the problem, but she's so amazing._

_"Santana, why do you always assume you did something wrong when you're so perfect?"_

_"I guess because I'm scared to lose you. I don't want to mess up whatever it is we have. I'm sorry."_

_"Don't apologize. I should be the one apologizing for constantly hurting you. You deserve better than me."_

_"Stop! We are not having this conversation. I brought Italian for dinner." She had let go of me and was walking to the kitchen._

_I didn't feel like eating. "We need to talk, I want you to be happy and I need you to listen." She turned around and for once I saw the pain, the fear, and the anger. I wasn't scared, but she was. She was scared to lose me. _

_"No, I don't want to listen. There is nothing to talk about. You're probably not a lesbian and I am. Your family will never tolerate us being together and you can't accept that. We have a week left and we can either enjoy it together or I can go back to New York and we can go back to being just friends. It's up to you." _

_I wanted to argue with her but she was right, I guess. This wasn't a discussion or a misunderstanding, we both knew the score and there was nothing to talk about. _

_The rest of the day went well. I left the subject alone and made her feel like she was the only person in the world that mattered, because at that moment it was true. For the time being, you could say we were a family. We ate dinner. Sometimes she would seem like she would get lost in some memory, but when I asked she just pretended it was nothing. She was happy again and that brought a smile to my face. _

_**December 30th**_

_After Christmas, every night I went to bed in the arms of my girlfriend. I loved calling her that, if only I could live up to the title. We made love constantly. She's so amazing and she knows my body so well. No one has ever made me feel as special as she does. _

_I don't think one day goes by that I don't torture myself about being without her. Yet, here I am allowing her to leave again. _

_I woke up this morning to find Santana in my kitchen. Seeing her cooking and looking domestic was irresistible. Santana can be many things, and a domestic goddess is one of my favorites. When we were at the beach house, she was always in short-shorts and tank tops. Today she was in a dress and she looked stunning. _

_I felt like a child playing house again. The key difference was that my friend wasn't playing my husband, she was playing my wife. _

_I went straight to wrap my arms around her waist. The food was great. She always knew how to make me feel better._

_We spent the whole day together. We went on a date. We saw a movie in the afternoon. Finally, we had dinner. After dinner we went for drinks with a friend of Santana's I hadn't met yet. I had heard stories of them together and I could tell how important she was to Santana when she spoke of her. _

_She was gay too. I didn't ask about whether their friendship ever became something more. That was Santana's past; I was her present (or at least I hoped to be). I wasn't jealous mainly because the girl was there with her wife. Santana appeared to be having a good time, but I felt like she was hiding something. If anything was upsetting her, it was what was upsetting me: seeing two girls act so publicly in love with each other. It made me feel like a coward for not allowing Santana to experience that too. _

_As soon as we got home I went straight to my room to change, I needed a bath to calm myself, I had no right to be mad and I knew it. When I was in the bath, Santana came in and made love to me, made me feel like the only person who mattered in her life. This was different though, this time I felt her finally let go, bring her walls down, and show me the real Santana. _

_"I know you were thinking the same thing as me tonight." I held her close to me in the water. She was in my arms._

_"You and me together with rings on our fingers? I think about that almost every day." I was stunned she was never this forward with her feelings._

_"You'd marry me after everything I put you through?"_

_"Of course, I wouldn't let you give up your family for me, and then NOT make you the happiest girl in the world."_

_"Why do you have to be so amazing?" She practically proposed to me and I had to turn her down. Then I felt myself starting to cry. She told me not to, we got out of the tub, and ate a gallon of ice cream together. Any sort of proposal talk was forgotten. I hate myself more than ever. _

_**January 1st**_

_Yesterday was New Year's Eve. Let's just say Santana and I were a bit distracted around the time actual midnight happened. We were in bed having sex. Champagne, chocolate, and strawberries were involved. It was the best New Year ever. _

_Lovemaking continued into this morning. We found more food items in the fridge that we couldn't wait to get all over ourselves; whipped cream mostly. She made me feel so special. _

_She is leaving in two days._

_**January 2nd**_

_Today, I made her dinner to celebrate her upcoming birthday. It wasn't until much later in the month, but we would be apart when that day came. So I convinced her to celebrate early for me._

_I wanted to make her a dinner. I needed this to be special because she told me she hadn't really celebrated her birthday since parents died. She offered to help, but I told her that since this was my present to her, she couldn't be a part of it. She pouted at me with those gorgeous and luscious lips of hers._

_When I finished with dinner, I set it on the table alongside some candles and the wine. Within seconds she was behind me looking like she wanted to eat everything in front of her, including me. _

_"Britt, you made a feast!"_

_"I wanted it to be special." I swear in that moment I felt her heart skip a beat while she was pressed against by back. _

_Dinner went well, we laughed and she complimented my cooking. We took pictures setting up my camera anywhere to get pictures of us together. She cried when she saw her cake. _

_After that, I took her to my room where I had her present. She told me I shouldn't have, and that the dinner had been enough. I gave it to her anyway. She opened the small box and found a necklace inside. It had a gold sun pendant, and on the back I had it engraved: "Our Summer - S & B". _

_"I have no idea what our future holds, I just don't want you to ever forget me. I know it may sound selfish, but I don't ever want you to forget what we've had."_

_It was then that both of realized our two-week adventure was basically over. She just wrapped her arms around me and held me close. I wouldn't have given up these two weeks for anything. She was crying. Her tears were rare. She never wants to show her emotions. She didn't say anything except for a thank you. _

_I moved to kiss her slow and soft. I took my time. I wanted to enjoy and remember every detail. I caressed her stomach first, so soft and smooth. She worked her hands up and down my thighs, tracing them with her nails. _

_I went to her nibble on her sweet spot, on her jaw right below her ear. I brought one hand to her inner thigh. She let out a moan as I cupped her pussy. While I was doing this she began working her hand between my thighs. She wanted us to cum together looking into each other's eyes. _

_Once she had her fingers inside me I was gone. I sucked on her bottom lip. She had the most luscious, soft, and pouty lips of anyone I had ever seen. They were so alluring. When she would put lipstick on, I would just get lost staring at her. _

_Her touch was slow and tender. Probing in and out and playing with my clit, she knew how to build me up. With two fingers inside me, and her thumb on my clit, she had me at her mercy. I was dripping and ready to cum for her. Every time we make love, I learn more and more about how amazing it is to be with her. We both orgasmed together, like she had wanted. _

_The rest of the night was just as amazing. It was full of sweet little kisses. Nothing more needed, just enough to remind each other of our love._

_**January 3rd**_

_Her flight was at 10. We showered together before she went to finish packing. I was an emotional mess. _

_It was over. We couldn't stop time from going forward. Not just our time together would be ending though, both of us knew that this should be the end of us completely. We both had to move on because we had no future together. Not the way we wanted. I would go back to being the daughter who pleases her parents and she would go off to bigger and better things without me. I can't say that I haven't thought of giving it all up to be with her. But, I always come back to that horrible word: disowned. _

_On the way to the airport, I had so much to say to her but the words never came out. My eyes were so full of tears that I could barely drive. Santana just sat silently next to me, holding my hand as she stared out the window. We finally got to the airport and she jumped out to grab her stuff. I stayed inside. It was just like 4 months ago. _

_I couldn't let history repeat completely. This time I got out of the car, but all I did was sob._

_She was wearing sunglasses. I knew she was crying too, but all I could see were the tears on her cheeks. She held me and said, "I'm going back because I have to. I'm leaving because I know you would never ask me to stay. Brittany, I need you to know that I need to go forward with my life. I can't stay the same girl from the beach. I'll stay your friend, if you need me to be, but nothing more. I know that this needs to be the end, for both our sakes. When you move forward with someone else, I ask that you never forget me either." She handed me a small box. Inside was a ring, with a sapphire in the middle. "It belonged to my mother. I don't why I even brought it with me. When you gave me the necklace, I thought you should have something to remember me by too. It doesn't have to mean anything else, just if you ever do wear it, think of me." _

_She kissed me and walked away. I grabbed her hand this time so she would not just leave. I took off her sunglasses to look one last time at those brown eyes. "I Love you, Santana. I now know what true love is. It's this. But also, I know now what a broken heart feels like. I'm sorry for not being stronger. One day I hope to be half as strong as you. I know you don't want to believe it, but I will always love you the most. I will let you move forward, but I just can't." _

_I kissed her one last time and she left. What had once started as a summer love was all ending on a cold winter's day. I don't feel like writing anymore…_

_**May 27th**_

_I don't know why I'm writing things again. Things haven't changed. I still talk to Santana. Not often, but enough for me to not be sad all the time. _

_I called her today. She seems happy, I guess. She had me on speakerphone. Sounded like she was multitasking. She gets busier every day. I really need to let her go. She needs to be free to enjoy her life without me constantly popping back up. _

_I want her to find someone else. Maybe she has. She never says, and I don't ask. I feel the distance though. I feel like she's met someone. What other explanation could there be? I hate myself for letting her leave, twice. I think I should just stop and never look back. Maybe that will let her find happiness with another? If we always talk it just reignites our feelings. She's probably already forgotten those feelings. What if I'm being a stupid clingy ex and she's just waiting for me to leave her alone? _

_If she has found someone, then I guess it doesn't matter to her if I leave or stay. _

_I had wanted to visit Santana to celebrate completing my dissertation, but I decided to stay away. I told her about it when we spoke on the phone today, she was so happy for me. That was not the only reason I called though. It was sort of our anniversary, I guess. It's been one year since the day we first met between our beach houses. I didn't mention it, and she never brought it up. I guess it doesn't matter. _

_I'll probably cry myself to sleep tonight. _

_**June 1st**_

_She sent to me a dozen red roses and bottle of champagne. I don't know if it that means she did remember after all, or if it was just to congratulate me for my degree. Probably the degree._

_**July 31st**_

_I had another date set up by my parents, today. Sometimes I wonder what's wrong with these guys that they can't get their own dates and they have to go through my parents. Then again what's wrong with me that I go along with it?_

_This one wasn't half bad. He's actually easy to talk to. He knew from the time we met, I didn't want to be there. He said that it was okay, and he didn't want me to force myself to enjoy it. Since he was nice, I still let him buy me dinner. I actually told him about Santana. He was surprised but understanding. He'll make a good friend. I haven't had one of those in a while. _

_**November 7th**_

_My grandfather died. I have to fly out to Nantucket with my mom and dad. I'm not that sad; I've hardly even met him before. I always just thought of him as the old guy who lived alone on an island with all his money. _

_But, New York and Massachusetts aren't that far apart! I want to see Santana. I need to see her. I'm going to call and beg her to spend time with me._

_**November 8th**_

_I called her. She sounded sleepy. I forgot about the time difference, again. Clocks are confusing._

_"Brittany, how are you? I haven't heard from you in a while." She was probably in bed. I remember what it's like sleeping next to her. _

_"I know. Things have been hectic here. That's why I'm calling actually. I'm flying to Nantucket, and since that's on your side of the country, I was thinking I could visit you for a few days."_

_"I would love that. I could use the some fun time away from work. When do you want to come?" _

_"Next week? We could have maybe 3 days together. What do you say?" I know I sounded way too excited. I should have reminded myself that she might be seeing someone. She told me that it sounded perfect, and to send her all the details once I had everything booked. Her tone was so gentle and soft._

_"I'll let you go."_

_"Ok good night Britt-Britt." The line went dead. _

_In 6 days I will see her again, and I better have control over my emotions. _

_Tomorrow, my new friend asked to hang out. I've only had a few conversations with him but he's definitely not one of the old-fashioned types my parents usually had me meet. I'm surprised he is so liberal, or at least liberal enough to not snitch on me to my parents the second I told him about Santana. I guess there were more good people in the world than I thought. Even after all the fake dates we've been forced to go on, I can't see myself with him, not in the way my parents want me to. No matter where I am, where I'm going, or whom I'm with the only thought on my mind is Santana Lopez. _

_I've realized this can't go on much longer. I'm out of excuses to give to my parents. If I marry him, then I'll be unhappy for the rest of my life. If I don't get married soon my parents will be unhappy. So I have a decision to make about whose happiness matters more to me. _

_It's not really a decision. There's only thing I can do. I don't want to live in a world where I'm not with Santana…_

...

There wasn't anything else written. Santana closed the book and took a deep breath. That answered a lot of her questions, except one.

She tried to fill in the rest of the story herself, she was there for that part after all.

Santana had taken a company car, with a driver, to pick Brittany up. Santana had thought about asking Brittany to stay with her at her loft, but Brittany had gone ahead and booked herself a hotel room.

As soon as Santana saw Brittany, she went up to her and said hello. Santana gave Brittany a hug too but it didn't feel like it normally did. Brittany was holding back, not letting herself enjoy Santana's touch.

"Hey Santana." Brittany said casually.

Santana eventually took Brittany's bags and led her to the car. They got in the comfy backseat together. It wasn't exactly a limo, but they had treated it as one. Santana asked her driver to take them to Brittany's hotel.

"How was your flight?"

"Not bad." Brittany answered. Santana could tell that Brittany was less interested in talking and more interested in checking Santana out. It had been a long time since they had seen each other in person. Santana almost blushed. She wasn't wearing anything overtly sexy; it was just a business suit. She had just clocked out of the office before picking Brittany up. Still Brittany kept staring.

As soon as Brittany realized she had been staring, she blushed and covered her face. They both started laughing. "I guess it's nice to know there's still plenty of sexual tension." Brittany seemed grateful that Santana had been the first to mention it.

"I'm sorry, I hope I'm not overstepping my boundaries by saying you look beautiful."

"It's ok. I think it's better to talk about it than pretend it's not there," Santana said while taking Brittany's hand. She noticed that Brittany was wearing the ring she had given her. Despite what she had just said, she didn't bring it up. She realized that it might be a bad idea and pulled her hand away.

"So what do you have planned for us to do while I'm here?"

"Well for starters, I made reservations at one of my favorite restaurants to celebrate you becoming Dr. Brittany Pierce." Brittany smiled at Santana's teasing use of her title.

"That's fine, it happened a while ago, and you sent me flowers already. Plus, I wouldn't want your girlfriend to get jealous about you taking me out on a date…"

"Brittany…" Brittany visibly braced herself. "There's no girlfriend."

Brittany seemed genuinely shocked. Santana was confused, had she given Brittany a reason to think that she had met someone else? She would have told Brittany if she had.

"I'm not going lie to you, there have been girls who wanted the job. But … nothing permanent."

"Oh. Are you afraid to commit?"

"Nope, I just don't have much time for any of that, with work and all…" Santana honestly had no idea if she was lying or not.

The rest of the ride was pretty quiet. They got to the hotel and Santana help Brittany carry her things up to her room. Brittany started to unpack. She came across a wrapped package and called Santana over. "I hope you don't mind, but I brought you something. When I was in Nantucket I saw it and thought of you. I don't know if you know this, but a big deal there are lighthouses. I've heard that people always go all over and pick out favorite since they're all pretty much different. Well, I heard about this place where you can go and paint your own tiny lighthouse. So, I made this for you." Brittany handed her a statuette, underneath it read 'For Santana'. "For your loft."

Santana hugged Brittany and took the souvenir. She started to cry. She tried to hide them from Brittany, but she was pretty sure she had seen them. Why did it have to be so hard? Santana thought to herself, "You really have a strangle hold on my heart."

With Santana getting emotional, Brittany said, "Maybe I shouldn't have come, Santana."

"I don't know, but you're here now and we have some celebrating to do. Have you ever seen the city?"

"Not really." They headed out the door.

Santana took Brittany around the city, showing her all of her favorite places and a few tourist spots. She never allowed for a single moment of silence or awkwardness between them. They went to dinner and celebrated with amazing food. Eventually they parted. She allowed Brittany to return to her hotel, while she went home. It was hard to say goodbye, but they still had two more days together.

Before Santana went to sleep, she imagined what it would be like: the two of them living in New York together. Santana could imagine them being together no matter where they lived, but she never let herself do that for too long.

Her dreams were no help. All night it was movie after movie of Brittany in her bed and them making love. When Santana woke up she was so turned on that she had to take matters into her own hands because she thought she might have jumped Brittany otherwise. 2 orgasms and a shower later Santana got dressed and met up with Brittany.

Santana's plans for Brittany's second day included some casual walks through Central Park, and a surprise night out to Brittany's favorite musical, The Book of Mormon.

She greeted Brittany outside of her hotel. Brittany asked, "What are the plans for today?"

"A surprise. Come on."

They managed to get around the city and have fun together. They were able to get some pictures taken together. It felt so right for Santana to hold her in her arms during those pictures. A couple of times, she caught herself holding Brittany's hand even after they were done posing.

When they got to the theater Brittany was so excited. Book of Mormon was her favorite musical. She had seen it once when it was in LA, at the Pantages. She had mentioned once how she wanted to see it again on Broadway someday.

"You're kidding right?"

"Nope. We have some pretty good seats actually. Let's just go inside."

The musical was really good but Santana was distracted. She found it hard to sit next to this beautiful woman and pretend she didn't love her.

When it was all over, Brittany turned to her and said, "Thank you for being so amazing Santana, I couldn't have asked for a better day. Why are you so good to me Santana?" She had the most loving look in her eyes and yet she seemed sad at the same time.

"You know why… because I'm still in love with you." After spending such a great day with her and containing her emotions, she just gave up.

"Santana."

"No... No... No Brittany no." Santana was tired; on the verge of breaking down. Her feelings were coming to the surface.

"What's wrong?" She was concerned.

"It's too hard Brittany. I want to be with you. I thought you could come her and just be my friend, but no. Why are you here? Why do you keep doing this to me?"

Brittany looked at Santana for a while, not talking. Santana turned to walk away but Brittany caught up to her and grabbed her arm. Santana was crying, but trying desperately not to.

"Stop Santana! Please just stop." Santana pulled away and continued walking.

"Why Brittany? Will you ever be here for me when I need you? No, you won't. I can't see you anymore. I can't keep doing this. It hurts. I'm sorry."

"Pleas stop Santana, stop for me, please, STOP!" She had started crying then too. "You want to know why I'm here?" She reached into her purse and pulled out a mysterious looking book. She handed it to Santana. "THIS is why I'm here."

It was the book Santana was currently holding; the one she had read cover to cover as fast as she could. She read all of Brittany's private thoughts and feelings from the last year. Santana had had no idea Brittany was hurting just as much as she was.

Santana turned her head to look at the couch on the other side of the room where Brittany was reclining, having fallen asleep at some point unknown to Santana. Santana got up out of her chair and walked over and nudged Brittany on the shoulder.

"Did I fall asleep?"

"For a little while."

Brittany stretched her arms out, yawned, and made room for Santana on the couch. "You read very slowly."

"I didn't want to miss any important details." Santana handed the book back to Brittany.

"What did you think?"

"Well I cried a lot reading it. Except for during the erotic parts, it brought back some nice memories…"

Brittany interrupted, "No I meant… do you understand now?"

"Brittany, it's was nice to get inside your head and she how much you love me, but really nothing's changed."

Brittany started to play with the ring Santana had given her. She looked at it on her finger, and then back up at Santana. "It killed me when you left the first time. I put focus on my dissertation to avoid thinking of you, but it was of no use. Then you came back and asked to be my girlfriend for two weeks I was the happiest woman alive for those two weeks. When you left again, I started imagining you meeting and falling in love with another girl. I hated myself for not being strong enough to be with you. As time went by I realized that no matter how much time we spent apart, I was never going to be happy at home again because my heart was her with you. I'm in love with you Santana Lopez. I have been since we met on the beach and I always will be. If I marry some guy to appease my parents, I will break your heart and mine. I don't know what will happen tomorrow or next week or next year. What I do know is that as long as I'm with you, anything is possible. I love you and if you want me then take me. I'm yours to keep."

"What?"

"I was so stupid to let you go twice, but I won't be that stupid again, Santana. I love you, more than you will ever know, and I intend to show you every day from today forward. I have nothing left back there. I'm done with my degree. I don't have any houses left to flip. As for my family, they know enough for now, they're not going to come and hunt me down. Whenever I do go back, I intend to tell them I'm in love with the most amazing woman in the world. I have no reason to go along with their controlling of me anymore. I don't want to be a part of that world anymore, because you are my whole world."

She leaned in and kissed Santana softly on the lips. Santana didn't respond. She was still busy processing everything Brittany had just said. She couldn't believe it was really happening. Brittany noticed Santana's apprehension, giggled, and said, "You better fucking kiss me, Santana."

Santana snapped back to reality, "I can do better than that." She pulled Brittany into her lap and kissed her with all the passion that she had been waiting to let out. After a few minutes, they pulled away and wiped the tears (now made from joy) off each other's cheeks. "Brittany, I promise you that I will love you more than anyone ever could, enough to make you forget everyone who's ever hurt you. I promise to make you the happiest woman in the world."

Santana couldn't believe it. Brittany was finally hers, and she was Brittany's. "So are you sure, right? It's for real? You want to be with me?"

"Yup, it'll Brittany and Santana vs the World. But I do have to ask one thing…"

"What's that?"

"I basically just told you I was homeless now. I could go back to my hotel, but I would much rather stay here."

"Oh that's fine, I'm never letting you go."

Brittany was officially moved to New York and into Santana's loft by Thanksgiving. Eventually Christmas was coming again. It would be there first Christmas as an official couple, no matter how special their 2 weeks a year ago had been. As this day grew closer, something was still lingering on Brittany's mind. She had avoided it when she went back to pack up her things, but she knew that it had been a mistake. She had one bit of unfinished business back home.

On Christmas Eve, Santana drove Brittany to her parent's house. She told Santana to wait in the car. She didn't think it would take very long, and she wanted to save her from the crossfire. She walked in and refused their offers to take her coat and sit down. She stood before them and said, "In case you have wondered what I've been up to the last month and a half, I officially moved to New York."

"You did this without telling us? But why dear?" said her mother.

"I am in love and I moved there to be with the person I love," Brittany answered still holding on to her secret for just a little longer.

"Well this is a surprise," her father spoke up in between gulps of brandy.

"Mom, Dad, I am in love with Santana Lopez, a successful New York businesswoman, and I want to spend the rest of my life with her."

Looking back on it, Brittany found it kind of funny how quickly their smiles faded and they rose up in anger. Her mom freaked out, pretended to have a heart attack, and started yelling at God. Her father started talking about her like she wasn't still in the room, declaring that she needed to see a doctor for a psych evaluation.

"I'm leaving now. Goodbye forever, I guess. I don't want to spend any more time as part of this family if you won't value my happiness. I don't need your money. Santana and I are successful enough to take care of ourselves now, because in case you forgot I have a fucking PhD."

That's when the insults started. Her father called Santana a 'spic,' her mother screamed at her and told her she was a whore. Brittany just walked away and let them keep yelling. Santana was waiting outside where Brittany had left her. In case they were watching, Brittany decided to put on a show and kiss Santana right there in front of the house. That way if any neighbors had heard the yelling, they could see and understand why their Christmases were ruined.

The one bright spot was that Brittany got a text from her sister after things died down. She was actually pretty cool about it, so Brittany had not lost her whole family after all.

Later that year, Santana and Brittany headed to Hawaii to celebrate the second anniversary of their first meeting, as well as Santana finishing her Master's degree. Instead of going to a big hotel on one of the major islands, they opted to stay at a small bed & breakfast away from it all. It reminded them of the beach where they met.

As soon as the were settled in, Santana pulled Brittany to her side and said, "So my plan for this trip is to spoil you." Brittany waited in anticipation to be spoiled. She had fallen so much more in love with Santana since she had given up all her fears.

One of the first stops on Santana's 'Spoil Brittany' adventure involve a secluded spa day. In a clearing in the middle of the jungle, Santana walked Brittany over to a small tub filled with rose pedals floating on the water. Brittany was bouncing around in excitement. Santana went up behind Brittany, pulled her shirt over her head, and kissed her neck. Then her hands traveled down to Brittany's waist and she undid the button on her shorts. Brittany stepped out of them, leaving her in just a bikini.

"Are you coming in with me?" she asked Santana.

"It's all for you. I'm spoiling you remember?" Brittany moved to step into the tub, but Santana pulled her back for one more thing. "Oh, this is a private area by the way. You don't have to wear that." She turned Brittany around to face her, she tugged Brittany's bikini top off, and Brittany took the hint and lowered her bottoms herself.

As she got into the tub, she smiled at the warmth on her skin. "If you wanted to get me naked, we could have just stayed in the bedroom for that."

Santana knelt on the side of the tub and began washing Brittany's body. Brittany relaxed and melted into Santana's touch.

"Brittany, in the time we spent apart, I was hurting too. I thought about you as much as you thought about me. I didn't make a diary about it, or anything like that, but I still felt that sadness."

"I know, Santana. I'm sorry for being afraid and keeping you waiting." Brittany's response was slow and drowsy.

"Well… I don't want that to ever happen again."

"It won't."

"I want you to prove it, Brittany."

Brittany didn't know where these insecurities were coming from. "Haven't I proven it enough? What else can I do to convince you that I will never leave you?"

"You could marry me…"

"What?" Brittany turned around and splashed water all over Santana. She saw Santana, completely soaked, but kneeling there with a diamond ring.

"This isn't the kind of wet I wanted to be after doing this…"

"Is this really happening?"

"Mhmm. Will you please spend the rest of your life with me? Will you be my wife, Brittany Pierce?"

Brittany started crying and flailing around in the tub, splashing more water everywhere. "YES! YES! YES!" Since Santana was wet already, Brittany just grabbed her and pulled her into the tub with her. "I will marry you Santana! But I have one condition."

"Whatever you want. I'll do anything for you."

"You don't have to do anything. It's me… I want to take your last name."

Santana was surprised, "You don't have to do that, I know I did the proposing, but I'm not old-fashioned about all that stuff. Where is this coming from?"

"Being a 'Pierce' reminds me of my past and a family that abandoned me. But you, Santana Lopez, will be my new family. I want to proudly sign papers and answer the phone as Mrs. Lopez. I want our future children to have one last name: yours … ours… one sole name for our new family." Santana was crying now too. Brittany still thought she was so beautiful.

"Brittany Susan Lopez." Santana said aloud. "I like it."

"Can I help my fiancée get out of her wet clothes?" Brittany teased. Santana stood up as carefully as possible. She quickly discarded her shirt and bra, as Brittany took off her shorts and underwear. As she was going to sit back down, Brittany forced her to stay standing by leaning over and licking her pussy.

Santana had to brace herself against Brittany and the edge of the tub. "Oh shit!" Santana thought it might be dangerous if she lost control, slipped, and broke her neck, but she trusted Brittany.

"Thank you for the pretty ring," said Brittany between licks. She got even closer, and grabbed a hold of Santana's ass. Brittany took her time thanking Santana, even though Santana begged her to go harder and faster. Brittany slowly licked across Santana's slit, sucking on each of her folds, all with visible smile on her face. She enjoyed the power she had over Santana at the moment.

Santana was losing it and Brittany sucked her clit into her mouth. Santana screamed out, "Brittany!" and she thought she heard some nearby birds get frightened and fly away. Brittany pulled her mouth away and started toying with Santana's pussy with her fingers.

From that day in New York, months ago, when Brittany had promised Santana all her love and affection, Santana had been imagining this day. As she remembered that night and all the nights that followed, it made everything feel sexier.

"Where are you thinking about?" asked Brittany questioning why she didn't seem to have Santana's full attention.

"Fuck Brittany, don't tease me."

"That's not a nice way to talk to you fiancée," Brittany had found long ago that she could make Santana do whatever she wanted. So she completely pulled her hand away and licked her fingers clean as she stood up to face Santana. Santana was disappointed but she knew this little game was making Brittany just as turned on as she was.

Brittany grabbed Santana's neck and pinched one of her nipples with her other hand. "Tell me if you want me to let you cum," she whispered into Santana's ear before licking it.

Santana pulled Brittany's hips against hers. She could feel Brittany's juices dripping down her thighs.

She looked into Brittany's eyes, let go of all the kink, and spoke with love, "I was thinking of the day you promised yourself to me after you came to New York. When you became my whole world and left me powerless to the things you do."

Brittany smiled, took her hand off Santana's breast, and fucked Santana to an amazing orgasm while never breaking eye contact. "So you're powerless to the things I do?"

"It takes one to know one. You're gonna pay for that." Santana grabbed her and kissed. Brittany gave in and became just as powerless for Santana.

"Fuck me Santana, make me pay for it all day long." Knowing their reservation at the spa was almost up, the debt would have to be repaid back in their bedroom. Santana intended to wear Brittany out completely, because she had more plans to take care of while Brittany was asleep.

Santana got up early the next morning. This day was the exact anniversary of that first meeting 2 years before. Santana's plans for the day was to also make it their wedding anniversary. She had a lot of things to do to make that possible.

Santana went into the secret pocket of her garment bag and pulled out 2 white dresses. They had gone to a formal event together not too long ago. Brittany had gotten measured for a new dress to wear then, and what she didn't know was that Santana had paid the designer to make a white wedding version of the same dress in secret. Brittany had had no idea she was trying on what would become her wedding dress.

Santana arranged everything with the Bed & Breakfast to have a private ceremony on the beach. They were on board to help out and find a photographer and an officiant. All she had left to do was convince Brittany to get married after only 1 day of being engaged.

"Good morning, fiancée," Santana awoke Brittany with a kiss. Kisses were the best way to wake Brittany up. Even though alarm clocks made her face cute and scrunchy, they also put her in a bad mood.

"What time is it?"

"Time for one more surprise."

"How could you possibly beat this gigantic rock on my finger? Or is it a sexy surprise?"

"Let me show you." Santana dragged Brittany out of bed and brought her into an adjacent room Santana had already decorated. In the room, Santana revealed the two white dresses, all that was missing was their occupants. Brittany entered the room first, and Santana wrapped her arms around Brittany's side and said, "Do you want to marry me?"

"Yes of course. I told you that yesterday. I can't wait."

"Well it's funny you should say that…"

It hit Brittany like a ton of bricks, it didn't take long, she was a genius after all. "Wait… is this… from the shop back home… but it's white now … and you've got one too … Oh Shit! Are we getting married today?" She spun around and held Santana's face in her hands, "Is this a surprise wedding?"

"Yes."

"What gave you the idea to do this?"

"When I read your diary, I saw that you thought I had forgotten why this day is important when you called me last year. I hadn't by the way, but that's not important right now. Why not save us the trouble and have two anniversaries in one? Plus after so much waiting, I don't want to wait any longer for you to be my wife."

"Santana, you are worth every moment of waiting. Just tell me what to do to be your wife by the end of the day."

That afternoon, Brittany stood before Santana on a beach just like the one they had met on. She gave her vows, "Two years ago, I saw a beautiful, gorgeous, and sexy woman in front of me. I still remember her in surf shorts, a tank top, and sneakers. I was so naive to think we would only be friends, because here we are about to get married back on a beach. It's only been 2 years since we first met and it seems like I've grown up so much. The truth is we both have, but not because you're now in front of me in a white dress, but because we have come so far from that summer."

Santana said in return, "Brittany, I don't have a lot of family left in my life. My parents are gone, aunts and uncles are scattered across the world, and friends come and go. You were the first person in my life who has actually fought to stay put. I kept expecting you to leave me like everyone else did, but you kept coming back. For most of my life, days were all the same: sad. Then, there you were, the girl I fell madly in love with, and we shared so many special days together. You give each day new meaning, and I can't wait to experience all of them with you. Thank you for being my constant in a life so filled with temporary things."

At the end of their trip, Santana told Brittany that they would have a long layover in Los Angeles before they could go back to New York. They spent most of the first part of it signing lots of papers. "It's all the stuff for your name change, joint bank accounts, new wills, insurance, and all that other boring stuff," Santana informed Brittany.

Since all of that was so boring, Santana told Brittany that to make up for it, they should go back to their old beach houses to look around and remember. Brittany knew her sister had sold hers a while ago, but she hadn't heard anything about Santana's.

As they pulled up in front of the two houses, it felt like stepping back in time. Santana held Brittany's hand and said, "Welcome home, Mrs. Lopez."

"I know it's amazing. I wonder who owns them now."

Santana pulled a key out of her pocket and handed it to Brittany, "We do."

"What!?"

"Surprise! My job is opening up an LA office and they want me on board. I asked my uncle to buy his old beach house for us to live in as our first house as a married couple."

"But what about New York?"

"I love New York. But I love you more. Brittany you're a beach girl, and so am I. This is where it all started for us, I thought it would be perfect." Santana awaited Brittany's response, but she was too shocked. "Say something? You're making me think you hate this idea. I should have told you before, I just was on such a roll with all the surprises…"

"Relax. I love it, I'm just a little surprised. I love that we can keep the place where we fell in love. Can we go inside?"

"You bet. One of those papers you just signed was the deed. See I told you I was on roll with surprises."

It was exactly as they remembered it. They each thought back to all the days and nights they spent here, the moments spent flirting and cooking, the dinners and conversations. Now they were married.

Brittany stood in front of the same old fridge, and she felt Santana come up behind her and wrap her arms around her waist.

"Remember how you seduced me?"

"You seduced me! You came out dripping wet in only a towel! What else was I supposed to do?"

"Should we try to make something to eat? Like the old times?"

"Oh I know what I want to eat," then she spun them around and pushed Santana up against the fridge. She undid the button on Santana's shorts and pulled them off. "No panties? Did you expect this to happen?"

"Well after the thank you for the engagement ring, I thought a house would get the same response."

"Smart girl."

Brittany picked Santana up and sat her down on top of the kitchen sink, "You know you've turned into a real top, Britt."

"You make me this way." It was true. Brittany had grown so much, now she wants Santana at all hours of the day and in any way possible. She took one hand and started rubbing Santana's clit, and with her other hand she parted Santana's lips with two probing fingers. Then she sucked on Santana's neck until Santana was screaming.

"Uhh, Brittany! I love you! I'm so glad you're my wife!"

"Mmmmmm," was what Brittany said to agree. She was more focused on working her two fingers in and out of Santana's pussy, eventually adding a third. Santana wrapped her legs around Brittany's waist and kept her close. "Please look at me Santana."

"Damn it, that's kind of hard with you fucking me…"

"But you know how much I like it…" Santana opened her eyes and traded stares with Brittany. "Tell me you want me."

"I want you! Make me cum!" Brittany did so, and Santana was moaning in ecstasy within minutes and screaming for more.

That's how they broke in their new old house: 2 straight days of lovemaking. What was once two separate lives were now united in one. They had given each other their hearts. They had had their summer together, and now they would have many more for the rest of their lives.

**THE END**


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